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I seem to be in a negative space with my art.
I look at past art and admire it, but I don't seem to have the drive at the moment and it frustrates me how i try to force my self to draw and it all comes out sketchy and unproportionate.
In my mind I criticize my art while im doing it it seems, and then it doesn't turn out right and i cant seem to fix it, I know what it should look like but my hands aren't doing it :/
I don't know... the paper mario art was looking good I think, maybe ill work on that. For a bit ive been wanting to do nsfw art but I feel uncomfortable at the same time with that.

And then I caught myself looking at an old friends art
Trying to get over not being friends anymore. And then fustrated at how good there art is compared to mine :(

What do you guys think of my art lately?
This year started out odd so far.
Ive become estranged from about 4 of my very close friends, somethings were said that upset me, so I decided it wasn't worth the trouble anymore.
And then about 2 months ago another friend got very pissed at me over a Facebook post about playstion
Which was just stupid.
I hate to disconnect from friends who ive known for so long.
But what do you say when 1 just doesn't talk to you,
2 gave the exact same excuse "ive been busy and haven't felt like talking or texting anyone".

Ive always felt like, atleast give a text back saying that your busy or sorry I haven't gotten back to you,
Not leave your friend who had done so much for you and still cared enough to try and get ahold of you just waiting for a response.
And the hard part was I know they all still saw each other because they all worked together.
But it's still taking a bit to get over it, I keep telling myself that I don't need them.
I don't even think I would be fine with them again anyways.
I don't know what im saying, this all happened 4 months ago, but i just saw some art from one of them that reminded me...
Sorry ive been a little quiet again. Im bad about that recently.
Im going to start thanking everyone individually who wished me happy birthday, i had a pretty good day.
And more money in my house soon so thats a big relief,
Ive recently been hooked on dark souls lol,
I just haven't really broke out my art pad lately, but it's always near me and with me just incase :)
Ive been a little silent lately again.
How is everyone? :)
So apparently i cant leave comments atleast for the moment because i was "spamming".
Someone gives me a llama ill thank them.
And ive gotten like 90 llamas...
So i went through half of my thank yous.
And now i cant leave any comments because it just thinks there spam.
Does anyone know how to fix this?
Also what should i do for the llama situation?
Ive been away from deviant art for a little bit.
Been a little busy with work.
I want to draw but I need to get out of the frustration mind set.
I just need to draw, and not think if it looks bad, or worry what others think of it.
I think there's still some art that some people wanted me to do, I forgot who.
But I know one was a billy hatcher, and the other was some persona 3 art.
Maybe I'll do that.
So ive looked through some of my art and noticed that they have 0 favorites.
Or maybe they have 900 views and like 5 favorites...
Is my art not really that good?
I don't know, it's just a little upsetting to put the effort in my art if people don't really care.
But I guess I shouldn't care really because I think some of these pictures ive made are really good. And you can tell the effort i put in to them too.
I don't know, why im talking about this lol
I have a couple requests from
-Steve anime
Soooo this is a reminder for me
Because I can't see any notes through the DA app, its odd, but I have the requests written down and i shall work on them

Anybody also have an requests, I could try them
So i use the DA app, and it's kinda frustrating because it keeps giving me an error most of the time when im replying to comments, it's so annoying, I cancel the app and reopen to try again, ughhhh
This I think is my favorite birthday!
I came to work and was surprised that at my desk was a present and a nice letter, I got to have sushi, I went to ikea and bought some new furniture, picked up steins gate; on bluray,
Then on the next my boyfriend took me to dinner, and gave me the best birthday card ever!
Not mention all the birthday greetings everyone has given me!!
Couldn't ask for more
After about a year or more break from DA im back, I just uploaded like 70 new artworks lol
And im trying to work on my art again,
Lets see, a number of things is going on,
Lets see,
-Moved out of my apartment that i was in with my brother, because found out he was still doing hard drugs
-got my own apartment
-got a beautiful white cat
-bought a car,
-fell in love
-boyfriend moved in

Ahhhh things are looking up!!
  • Listening to: On Melancholy Hill - Gorillaz
  • Reading: Rant by Chuck Palahniuk
  • Watching: Orange is the New Black
  • Playing: Ni No Kuni
  • Eating: foooooood
  • Drinking: sprite
i finally got my wii u,,,,
its the windwaker limited edition bundle!!!
its so beautiful!
it matchs my limited edition zelda 3ds!
and my limited edition hyrule historia to go along with it!!!
im so happy right now

  • Listening to: On Melancholy Hill - Gorillaz
  • Reading: Rant by Chuck Palahniuk
  • Watching: Orange is the New Black
  • Playing: Ni No Kuni
  • Eating: foooooood
  • Drinking: sprite
so, i am finally moving along!!
lets see
1. i quit mcdonalds
2. i got a full time job
3. i moved out of my parents house
4. just got internet agian!
5. I GOT A DESK!!!!
ummm, thats kinda it for now
ummmm im going to be getting a car soon...
now i need to improve my art!!!
now that i have a desk to work on i can finally start to practice!
im making a new playing mat(to play cards on)
i am happy to be done with mcdonalds though... that was horrible, not worth the money, but thats behind me now.
so yeah!
  • Listening to: On Melancholy Hill - Gorillaz
  • Reading: Rant by Chuck Palahniuk
  • Watching: Reaper
  • Playing: Ni No Kuni
  • Eating: Macaroni
  • Drinking: Grape Soda
so im going to be moving very soon,
and i have 2 jobs now, 
so i wont have much time left to do much else
but this is the only way i can move out,,, so yeah thats that.
but i havent really done any new art lately
not that anyone reall cares anyways lol
so yeah
but i cant wait to have my own apartment!!
i mean my brother will be living with me for a while
untill he can get his own place and i can handle it on my own,
but im super excited

  • Listening to: Diane Young - Vampire Weekend
  • Reading: Rant by Chuck Palahniuk
  • Watching: Breaking Bad
  • Playing: super mario galaxy
  • Eating: potstickers
  • Drinking: tiki punch
so i reset the computer, now its runs so much better, i think ill try to respect it this time around lol
so yeah... once i get around to it ill do some uploading...
  • Listening to: the Rabbit - Miike Snow
  • Reading: Rant by Chuck Palahniuk
  • Watching: the Americans
  • Playing: Tales of Graces f
  • Eating: fried fish
  • Drinking: strawberry soda water.
lol i have new art but i havent felt like scanning
ive been video game hunting as of late,
what i would love to find is a PHILLIPS CD-I!!!!!
lol but they are hard to find... very sad
but lately ive been playing tales of graces f, putting a lot of time into the game haha
but yeah... ill have to upload
ill probably just post them all at once
time to maybe draw, or read... probably read...
my brother get out of jail this month!! im happy!
  • Listening to: flesh and bone - the killers
  • Reading: fight club by chuck palahniuk
  • Watching: american horror story: asylum
  • Playing: dishonered
  • Eating: cheep microwavable food
  • Drinking: grape sode
its time to upload pictures, its been awhile
some of its old, some of its new
so yeah
im going to try posting them once a day... dont know if ill keep to that plan though...
been playing alot of games lately, so many games are coming out...
  • Listening to: Turn off the lights - Panic! at the Disco
  • Reading: the Alan Wake files
  • Watching: Weeds - season 8
  • Playing: batman: arkham city
  • Eating: mcdonalds lol
  • Drinking: orange/sprite mix soda
'Sup? :icontrollfaceplz:
  • Listening to: Turn off the lights - Panic! at the Disco
  • Reading: the Alan Wake files
  • Watching: Weeds - season 8
  • Playing: batman: arkham city
  • Eating: mcdonalds lol
  • Drinking: orange/sprite mix soda
i love that game i know laugh at all other regular alan wakes!!! hahaha
and i finally got a copic to try  out but ive been busy lately
ive got so much games and dvds i went on a shopping spree lol
currently im play bataman arkham city!!!! its very  cool, im getting a little fustrated at some parts but stilll very nice!!
i got no more heros agian, this time ill give it more of a chance!
im going to start working on a link cosplay(hand stiched) haha thatll be fun!!!
i just need to find white pants cus im doing twilight princess link
and i found a tutorial to make the hyrulian shield but thatll have to wait untill i move out...
  • Listening to: Turn off the lights - Panic! at the Disco
  • Reading: Survivor - Chuck Palahniuk
  • Watching: Weeds - season 8
  • Playing: Bayonetta
  • Eating: nothing...
  • Drinking: Shasta Soda ooooohhhhhhh yyyyeeeaaahhhhh...
i am very Frustrated, im a little sick off people telling me what i shouldnt do, i want to learn for my self,
im in a rut and it doesnt help when like my family keeps telling me to not move here, not work here, not talk like that, dont say that,
im young ill make mistakes! i need to make these mistakes or ill never learn for my self, im pretty much done trying help my friends get jobs
im just going to move out on my own for now, when they want to get a job and move out, i dont mind helping, but im just frustrated i cant stay here living with my mom, or ill get worse having to deal with listening to everyones two cent all the time, this is been going on to long,
i dont care if im just getting by living on my own, at least ill be on my own working to get better, ill decide whats best, ill ask for suggestion but not critisism, i dont want to here about how you cant, if i am starting to do all this with out a high school diplolma or g.e.d, then you could do better,ughhhhh lol i really shouldnt post this heh heh
ill know ill be better when i move out, i just need a place where i can sit there with silence, and not have to here someone going to the bathroom, not yelling on the phone at 1-3am or talking all the time, or the tv on all night, having to here about my mom talking to men all the time talking about very personal things(stuff you wouldnt say in front of a crowd)
im craking up here,
and i have no room to walk around without having to worry if theres homeless people/creepy old people(who go through the trash or just satare at you through there window) or anything else waiting for me if step outside.... its in the somewhat better side of town
but when i live in the living room of a one bedroom apartment where i never have privacy living on my own is better than this
this is why i would like(wont bother anymore) my friends to get jobs

on another note, i would like for people to give me some ideas on art i should do!! lol